The Worry Beast
You’re worried about what you don’t know. You’re worried about what you do. You’re afraid, but the fear isn’t what’s torturing you. That ever present drum of potential hazards, the swirl of hyper vigilance- that is the real agony. You worry that you won’t be able to remember. You worry that you might never forget.
You know that you cannot stay in this space. Nothing functions when worry overwhelms.
You’ve tried to voice your concerns, because maybe just getting them on your lips instead of in your head- might result in you getting some help. The response, however-
“Don’t Worry. It’s all going to be okay.”
Now why didn’t I think of that.
There isn’t a simple off switch- but there are a couple ways I banish the worry that plagues me. I have some offerings of hope.
Let’s talk it out.
BLIND FAITH
If you’ve got any sort of close relationship with a spirit guide or a deity who loves you, and you speak to them about your concerns (as you should), expect the response you get to be sort of a repetition of the above scenario. Because they can see what lies around the corner from their multidimensional perspective, they are the ones best equipped to promise- It will, all be okay.
Hopefully they give you some more than a platitude though! When I speak to Loki about my concerns he swoops in with a warm hug and whispers in my ear.
“I’ve got you. You’re so safe. Just a bit longer, the plan is in motion already and you are doing so so good.”
Blind faith trusting in Loki (after my initial vetting proved him trustworthy) has carried me so far in life. He has his way of locating my worry on-off switch. Though, admittedly it doesn’t always work.
Many of us aren’t even truly capable of blind faith, life has taught us to keep our guards up. Trusting in our intuition is a hard task when our trauma responses occupy a similar space in our brain.
However, if blind faith will get you to set down you worries and trust in the divine path- do it. It is by far the easiest of these options- so long as your guide is genuine.
BRAIN RETRAINING
If you cannot have faith blindly (or you wouldn’t want to anyway, I see you), then your next option is to lie to yourself.
I’m kidding. Well, half kidding.
We are the owners of our brains, so we do hold the power to tell our brain what to think and what to not think, but initially this does feel like a lie, no matter how true it is.
There is a lot of shadow work involved here. Therapy, if it is available to you, would be great. Regardless, do put in the work. Until you fully understand the parts of you that stress from within your subconsciousness- you have no power over them.
With this solution you must dive down deep to where the shadow lives, and learn the forces behind why your brain believes the things it does. You will have to reason through the why of it all, re-witness the trauma, and come to love these parts of you. The way you survived in the past did serve you in your past, so thank these mechanisms for coming to you when you needed them. However once we know these pieces do not serve us any longer, we must reparent them.
The easiest way to get started with reparenting and retraining our worries is to change every dark fear into statements of power, to embolden ourselves. Make a note of every dark thought that comes up. At the end of the week take an hour to sit down and reframe every single one into bold, beautiful, empowering truths. Start every morning for the following week by saying the new phrases aloud to yourself- bonus points if you can say it in front of a mirror.
Repeat the process and you’ll find yourself doing banishing magic in your own head for a time. Because now when the worry crops up, you have a way to cast it out, and to replace it with a much better notion.
This process shows nearly immediate results, but I will be honest with you- it’s a very long process. Life tends to repeat lessons to us until we learn them, and I can say from experience that old patterns run deep and like to rear their ugly heads at the most inopportune of moments.
When they do, you might have to repeat this process again. It will get easier every time.
RUNNING OUT OF WORRIES BY FORCE
Sometimes the worst fear in your head comes rushing up to meet you, long before there is any way to prepare for its arrival. Life can get messy, and the very best of people go through some of the most difficult things. If you believe that you chose this life, this play-through, during your time between incarnations (I believe this), than you can boldly grasp that the lessons are hard because You Need Them to learn and grow and become what you are meant to become, by the end of this life. I think the strongest of souls take on some of the biggest challenges because it’s a fast track to evolution. If you have huge hardship- you’re probably a major badass. I know I am.
So with this knowledge, you almost expect things to go wrong. You might even expect things to go wrong enough that it will kill you, ending this play-through entirely. I won’t lie, it might. But there is power here, if you chose to not let yourself be drowned.
If you find worry in your heart, and you know you’re here to grow and become stronger spiritually, you run headfirst into worry.
What if I can’t afford to eat? Quickest way to find out is to run out of money and watch what happens. See how resourceful you can be.
What if I am abandoned and left all alone? You might decide to try being all alone.
It is, terrifying.
Yes.
I know. Believe me, I know.
For some of us, the only way to really know we have nothing to fear is to run headfirst into the very thing we are most afraid of- and to realize for ourselves that it IS all okay.
WAITING IT OUT
Worry is not some unending wellspring, that can occupy your thoughts and keep you entertained forever. Worry runs out. So if all else fails, and you cannot help but exist in the worry, then do so for a time. Let the worry be spent on you, live in it and swim through those dark waters. But don’t let it be your end. A bold soul will outlive worry every time. When we find the bottom of the barrel our What-if’s become Well-why-not’s.
This is a dark path, and it takes the lives of many who walk it. I can’t say I recommend it, but I have seen some very very strong souls take on this fight and come out of it hopeful.
Reasonable perhaps, but hopeful.
KNOW HOW THE SYSTEM FUNCTIONS
At the end of all this, I want to talk about divine providence as a spirit in and of itself. She represents the way-things-are, and the way things will be. Our deities are extremely powerful, but even they cannot win a war against divine providence.
Have you ever asked one of your gods for something and gotten a sad no in response? As if they deeply desired to immediately solve our problems for us, but somehow could not?
Divine providence is the right for things to exist, and is the most powerful force I have yet discovered in my magick path. She cannot be railed against with much success.
However- she does offer us hope, and can free you from you worries. Think about it like this- if divine providence gives right to exist to every single thing and soul on this planet (and she must, because we’re all still here); then we know all is as it is meant to be. This isn’t hopeless, don’t drown in that notion and believe that your situation is unchangeable. Rather, know that you are where you’re meant to be. Know that all which is meant to be- is protected. Which means you must be too. So why fret?
May the bird called hope make her nest in the rafters of your mind, and sing sweetly to you, in your darkest moments.
King Everluck
